Some types of marriage and couples counseling can put the therapist in a position of referee, helping each person to compromise. In Imago therapy, the counselor is more like a “coach.” The couple or “team” is not successful in their communication and conflict resolution, and the counselor teaches the couple new “plays” or exercises to strengthen the “team” and deepen the intimacy.
Imago involves a series of exercises that the couple practices in and out of the
counselor’s office. The couple then learns the counseling tools and is able
to implement them outside of the office, enabling them to eventually become
expert communicators on their own.
Most couples find that they lose their ability to communicate when they get upset, angry or reactive.
Then the message gets lost in the delivery. Imago Relationship Therapy helps each of the partners to communicate more lovingly and to listen without needing to respond immediately. Placing blame and finding fault is not useful. If the couple is going to heal and become more intimate, they will need to understand how the other partner learned to think and behave in a particular way rather than determining who is “right.”
The goal is to understand, through Imago counseling, the other person’s truth and help them to understand your truth.
“A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.”